ECW destined to fail?

Some fans complain when writers, not wrestlers, control the talent on Raw or Smackdown!. But ECW demonstrates that the product isn't any better when the inmates are left to run the asylum.

After months of hype and a spectacular send-off pay-per-view, ECW returned to the small screen and debuted Tuesday night on the Sci-Fi network. The premiere episode of the new brand of extreme wrestling saw a championship rechristened, a 10-man weapons-legal battle royal ensue, and a couple of run-ins by some WWE superstars.

But to be honest, the show failed to impress. It was short, disjointed and disappointing. There were just three matches, two of which only lasted for a couple of minutes, and the promos that ran only further showcased the weaknesses of the new ECW.

I'll admit that I'm no ECW buff. But I have seen some of the death matches that helped ECW carve out its niche among wrestling fans. What ECW lacks in storylines and mic skills, it makes up for with raw wrestling talent coupled with chairshots and table bumbs that would make even the drunkest fan sober up.

But I didn't see any of that extreme attitude last night. What I did see was Sandman caning a mummy (click here to watch) and Kurt Angle pinning a jobber. (Isn't it funny that Justin Credible is still a jobber on his home show?)

Sure the weapons-legal battle royal had some high spots, but aside from the Big Show and Sabu, the match was just jobbers from ECW and WWE unimpressively swinging chairs at each other.

A large part of the appeal of ECW is the electricity generated by its rabid fans. Mostly comprised of angry young men, true ECW fans will follow their wrestlers to hell and back. It's their energy that has often times masked an average in-ring performance or a wrestler's weak mic skills.

But that advantage is gone now. Since the new ECW is taped right before Smackdown!, it's audience is no longer pure. The beer-swilling ECW faithful are now outnumbered by young women and small children. And I don't think they're likely to start up (or go with) a "You got bitch slapped!" or "Same old shit!" chant.

Tuesday night's promos encapsulated the current state of ECW. At the start of the show, Edge speared ECW champ Rob Van Dam, and ex-champ John Cena slapped Paul Heyman. The attacks spurred Heyman to continue the WWE-ECW feud into next month's Vengeance.

It's possible that the powers that be in WWE are prolonging the inter-brand battle to give fans an encore of One Night Stand. But what's more likely is that the WWE knows that ECW is strongest when it has something to rebel against.

Fans have rallied behind ECW because they, like the ECW wrestlers, are fed up with WWE's brand of "sports entertainment." But what happens if ECW's wrestlers beat WWE's superstars again at Vengeance?

The brand will have to stand on its own two feet. No longer can it hide its wrestlers' weaknesses by spouting anti-WWE sentiments. ECW will need wrestlers whom fans can connect with and storylines that give those wrestlers a purpose. In other words, ECW will eventually evolve into sports entertainment.

Have I angered any ECW fans? Hate mail, death threats and flaming table invitations are kindly welcome. Just post them on the message board.

If you're looking for professional biographies on wrestlers, up-to-date news minus the spoilers, and even more wrestling commentary, check out prowrestling.about.com. Or you can just click here.

Sorry for the second hiatus, folks. My internship's keeping me busy. I'll try to post more frequently.

Sheets spoil holy 'sheet' moments

If you've ever perused the wrestling dirt sheets, then you know it's a great place to get behind-the-scenes information.

For instance, right now you can find out how Kurt Angle feels about his move to ECW, check out a pick of the Rock's new hippie haircut, or discover how WWE management feels about Lashley.

But the sheets don't just give added context to WWE events. Most fans frequent them because they inform us of the big events before they happen--in other words, they spoil them.

For example, the answers to JBL's return, the return date and roster lineup of Degeneration X, and the identity of the masked Kane, are all online and just a few clicks away.

I'm a wrestling fan too, and I know it's hard when you don't get your wrestling fix. But reading spoilers is not the answer.

You know that feeling you get after you watch Raw, that excitement and curiosity after you've just heard a good promo or witnessed a great storyline unfold? That's WWE doing its job.

If on Monday night you salivated when John Cena and Rob Van Dam were nose to nose or screamed "Holy shit!" when Paul Heyman announced that Angle was now ECW, then you experienced what wrestling's supposed to be about.

But that excitement wanes after you visit the dirt sheets.

The problem with spoilers is that well, they spoil things. They take away the unpredictable and surprising moments that wrestling fans crave.

I've stopped scouring the sheets for spoilers and I've discovered that it's not wrestling that's become stale; it's the dirt sheets and their readers that make it stale. (Especially Smackdown!, whose spoilers run three days before it airs!)

To keep away from the lure of the sheets, try any of the following:

Head over to youtube.com and watch classic and recent wrestling matches for free.

Play out your fantasy matches on Smackdown! vs. Raw 2006.

Read another wrestling blog.

Visit the sheets, but don't read the spoilers.

Get a second hobby to pass the time.

But the best remedy? Try not reading the sheets at all, just for a week. You'll be surprised how much more interesting wrestling is.

Sorry for the absence folks. I just had to finish up some finals.

Next time on Sports Entertainment in 500 Words, we'll consider the merits of the WWE draft. It's been discussed before, but never here. Hope you can join us.

**This just in: Tazz & ECW news (possible spoiler)**

Tazz jumping to ECW? Holy crap! I'll be there in two clicks!